Slowly, I stumbled out of my cot without the nurse’s permission. My brother was in intensive care and my sister was in the room next to me. There was no word on my dad though. This made me frantic; the presumable questions rushing through my head. As I walked the halls I started to yell his name getting more scared every second. Finally a nurse timidly replied to me that Jon Pittenger was in the holding room at the end of the hall. I literally sprinted to the room and peaked through the rectangular window to see four police officers surrounding my father. I immediately swung the unlocked door open and pushed away the officers to see my dad handcuffed, with tears drenching his red cheeks. Choking on my own breath I was able to squeeze in between the handcuffs give my dad the hug he so desperately longed for. I had never seen such a sad tint in those ocean eyes before, and it was excruciating to be pulled away from him by the police after we hugged. Before I was waved out the door he managed say that he was sorry and that he loved me. I told him I knew, and that I loved him back, just as the door was shut in my face.
He was later taken away from my family due to the child endangerment charge that came with his D.U.I. Court law ordered that his children were not allowed to see him, so I spent my high school lunch breaks, and after school time, sneaking over to the trailer our friends let him live in. A few months later, he took his own life.
I was living in a dream world for the next few years. School and the sports I loved transformed into meaningless activities that seemed so minute to the reality I was living. My grades dropped due to my attendance; I couldn’t be around all of those people who knew my life story but didn’t know me. Since I lived in a small town there was no hiding my father’s death, I couldn’t stand being around all of those poisonous looks of pity. I was lost and began stepping down a path with no goals. All of my emotions started falling off the shelf.
My mother was who saved me. She decided to give me a journal that my dad kept while living in his trailer. One excerpt explained how proud of me he was and that he knew I was strong enough to take care of my little brother and sister. It was the end of my junior year when I read his entries. I think that those simple words saved my life, saved my motivation, and saved my self-worth. Reading those words became a turning point, and I was finally able to begin my life. For the first time in too long I was able to picture a future with a place for me in it. The value of school and importance of an education became apparent to me once again. I’ve had to work hard to survive these past three years and all the lessons I have gained I have had to learn myself. Even though he’s gone now, my father has been one of the biggest influences on my life, in life and in death.
He was later taken away from my family due to the child endangerment charge that came with his D.U.I. Court law ordered that his children were not allowed to see him, so I spent my high school lunch breaks, and after school time, sneaking over to the trailer our friends let him live in. A few months later, he took his own life.
I was living in a dream world for the next few years. School and the sports I loved transformed into meaningless activities that seemed so minute to the reality I was living. My grades dropped due to my attendance; I couldn’t be around all of those people who knew my life story but didn’t know me. Since I lived in a small town there was no hiding my father’s death, I couldn’t stand being around all of those poisonous looks of pity. I was lost and began stepping down a path with no goals. All of my emotions started falling off the shelf.
My mother was who saved me. She decided to give me a journal that my dad kept while living in his trailer. One excerpt explained how proud of me he was and that he knew I was strong enough to take care of my little brother and sister. It was the end of my junior year when I read his entries. I think that those simple words saved my life, saved my motivation, and saved my self-worth. Reading those words became a turning point, and I was finally able to begin my life. For the first time in too long I was able to picture a future with a place for me in it. The value of school and importance of an education became apparent to me once again. I’ve had to work hard to survive these past three years and all the lessons I have gained I have had to learn myself. Even though he’s gone now, my father has been one of the biggest influences on my life, in life and in death.